Strangers in a Stranger Ed
by World of Dragons Productions
Summary: After leaving Peach Creek for three years to study martial arts, the Eds return to a town that never missed them and has moved on without them. As they struggle to readjust to a world that isn't happy to see them, a series of strange events call them to action. Rated for violence, language, adult situations and some sexuality.


_Foreword and Author's Notes:__ And here we are again. For those of you who haven't been here before, I've been a fanfiction writer since I believe 13 or 14 years old, getting my start with Ed Edd n Eddy. However, I never completed a fanfiction before and have been trying to do so since. This marks my seventh attempt at doing so. I realize I said to a few people that I'd be retiring from fanfiction to work on more original stuff, but strangely I felt the whole thing calling me back, not to mention I had a lot of ideas I'd never get to use if I retired. So here I am. Besides, I didn't like the idea of letting the Ed, Edd n Eddy section of this site get taken over by every fourteen-year old girl's crappy yaoi fantasies._

_As the summary suggests, this fanfic will be dealing with an older group of Eds and a new environment that's changed in their absence. __I've also decided to make this a slight alternate universe fic, at least one where the events of the Big Picture Show didn't occur. If you want my reason why, I didn't like the ending, the kids suddenly forgiving the Eds after watching Eddy get beaten up by his brother. As much as I like the Eds, they more or less earned their title of Social Outcasts and I would've preferred if they had earned the kids' respect instead of it just being handed to them. Edd could've stood up to Eddy and did the right thing, Eddy could have at least said he was sorry for all the trouble he caused in the past. But no, I guess all it takes is a little pounding from Big Bro and all is forgiven._

_Lastly, I'd like to thank XenKenshin for beta reading this fic. Now without further ado, let's begin._

* * *

There are many myths and legends in the world, more so in Asia's martial arts world. In China, there was the tale of the Seven Swords of Tien Shan; Seven swordsman who resided in the mountain and trained their skills to supernatural heights then descended the mountain to bring a corrupt ruler to justice. But many wondered about the secret to those swordsmen's prowess.

Since their time had passed, the province of Tian Shan saw many aspiring martial artists make pilgrimages to the mountain in hopes of discovering its secrets. Centuries went by and everyone of them failed, save an untold few.

In these late years of mine, I found myself desiring a student and the answer came in an old friend's request to train his grandson. When I traveled to Peach Creek in California to meet the boy, he decided -after much debate- to accept the offer, but only if his two friends were permitted to join. Since then, the Eds had become my students, and called the mountain their home and their school.

There was a hidden monastery carved into the mountain's interior. It was a place that time could not touch, where they spent countless days honing their minds and bodies inside and only a fraction of that time passed in the outside world. Challenging as it was to teach three students three different arts, those years passed with success. Now in mid-January, the day had come when the Eds would descend the mountain.

Eddward Marion Hawking had often occupied the library when he had time to himself. Like the rest of the monastery, the library and all it's features; the candle stands on the walls, the shelves that held books and scrolls, the desks and other furnishings, had been carved out of mountain's stone.

As I approached, he was standing at one of the shelves with a scroll in hand, a small pile of others resting by his foot. Eddward turned and bowed, uttering a low "___Sifu_" before he rolled the scroll back up and placed it atop the others.

"I see you decided to take me up on my offer." I remarked, gesturing to the scrolls.

A wry smile curved Eddward's lips. He always had stark green eyes and a lean build though tt sixteen, the years added a hint of muscle. In an uncharacteristic move, Eddward allowed his blue-tinted black hair grow out until it reached his mid back then tied it into a traditional ___Queue_. He wore an orange ___Changshan_ gown, purple slacks and leather boots that went over the slacks up to his calves.

"I'm going to miss this place." He said quietly. "All the quiet hours of study and playing music. It's one thing to prepare for goodbyes, when the day comes, one can't help feeling sentimental."

"It's because you've settled into this place and came to accept it as your home and your school. No amount of preparation can severe the sentimental value one creates for their home." I explained

"Yes, you're right." Eddward nodded. "Still, I'm eager to return to Peach Creek. I know mother and father will be happy to see me."

"That they will." I nodded.

"Still, apart of me feels somewhat guilty, you know." Eddward nearly chuckled.

I looked at him with an arched brow, asking "Why is that? Your parents understood why you came here."

"That is true, ___Sifu_" Eddward started, "But, I meant... Martial Arts is supposed to be a skill that takes a life time to master and yet because of this place, I only spent a few years practicing. By most standards we should still be beginners." Eddward explained.

"Perhaps out there it was only a few years, but in here you still spent a lifetime honing your skills." I replied.

Eddward turned to look at me with a wry smirk curving his lips. "A lifetime relative to us, yes. I just can't shake the feeling sometimes, that we cheated by coming here. I can imagine how many masters your age and perspective students my age would kill to have access to such a place."

"But, that's not what's bothering you, is it?"

Eddward expression hardened and he turned back to the shelf. "You could always see right through me, ___Sifu_" He whispered. "I... I don't know what's to become of me, of _us_. After everything you taught us and exposed us to, I don't know if I can really go on living a plain life in the suburbs. Are we to become more than that? Am I supposed to cast aside any notion of living a peaceful existence? I've always known what I wanted in life, but after all this..." He breathed a long sigh to center himself. "Somehow my goals and aspirations no longer seem... Good enough, as if I would be disappointing someone."

I'm sure Eddward felt me approach, but he still flinched when I touched my hand to his shoulder. "Eddward, I'm not expecting anything less from the three of you than to walk a correct path and become what you were always meant to be." I said.

"But, what is that, ___Sifu_?" Eddward asked.

"That is for you to decide, Eddward."

I saw that answer didn't satisfy Eddward. "In that case, why did you teach us?"

He asked me that several times in the past and my answer remained the same, if only because he wasn't ready for the whole truth. But, the truth was not in an answer. "It's because I needed students to carry on my knowledge and everything it stood for, because your grandfather wanted you to be an athlete and you needed a change." I explained. "But what was it that you needed to change, that you accepted my tutelage? Was it to escape the sleepy suburb you're eager to return to now? Were you just as frustrated with your lack of physical prowess as your grandfather? Was it that you expected more of yourself? Or, perhaps were you just curious of what you could learn from this experience?"

Eddward answered as soon as I asked. "It's because I wasn't satisfied with where I was, with my surroundings, with where my life seemed to be headed. Every day was the same of being dragged into one hair brained scheme after another. Allowing my intellect to be exploited for someone else's petty ambitions, and shouldering the blame when it all inevitably failed then coming home to an empty house to lick my wounds. Only to do it all again the next day."

Now everything made more sense. "You know you can't expect to change any of this unless you change yourself." I turned to lean on the shelf then continued, "But, you are not the same person you were back then, neither are your friends. And you can't expect the Peach Creek you'll return to to be the Peach Creek you left behind. Change and evolution is inherent in nature, after all."

Eddward nodded then followed my lead, this time letting his eyes wander the dimly lit chamber. "I know, ___Sifu_."

"Everything is packed, and waiting for you at the entrance." I said. The Eds already knew the journey home would be one they made without me.

"I should have said this before, but thank you for accepting me, no, accepting ___us_as your students. I will continue practicing, even after leaving this place and you can trust I will not abuse your teachings." Eddward separated himself from the shelf to bow again.

I only arched my eyebrow and smirked at him. "And what makes you think I doubted you?"

Eddward looked caught and began to scratch under his hat while trying to find somewhere else to look. "Oh, uh I didn't..." He stammered. "I just-"

"Don't worry, Eddward I'm joking." I laughed. "But, there is another reason I taught you the three of you separately." Eddward looked at me curious, but faltered when he saw my expression turn serious. "And I realize I had burdened you with dangerous knowledge. But, understand that I imparted that knowledge to you and no one else because of who you are. And that's a person who will either find a way to use it for good, or keep it locked away forever."

Eddward blinked, but remained silent. Once again he had trouble looking me in the eye and instead leaned against the shelf and stared off into nothing. Two minutes passed in uncomfortable silence. "I had no idea you had such faith in me, ___Sifu_."

"Well, it was either put my faith in you, or risk Ed and Eddy poking everything to death for a few years before they realize they shouldn't." I said and Eddward looked at me, shocked. "It was a joke." I assured him.

"Oh." Eddward sighed in relief. "I could never know which was which. Though, since we're here, might I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"What will you do now?" Eddward asked.

I couldn't help the smile on my face when I answered, "The only thing I can do at this point; walk the earth until my time on this world is finished.

"That sounds a bit grim, ___Sifu_." Eddward remarked.

I laughed and patted the boy's shoulder again. "You perceive it to be grim because you understand the preciousness of life, but not the necessity of death."

Eddward's eyes widened, "The necessity of death? What do you mean?"

"You will understand in time, Eddward." Those were my last words to Eddward before I left him alone in the library, I imagine to continue collecting scrolls.

* * *

I could already hear the sound of fists pounding into hemp and the grunts and taunts of a young voice on my way to the equipment room. I waited at the half open door way to watch Eddy work on the old heavy bag hanging in the center of the room.

Eddy Skipper Mcgee had always been short for his age. At fifteen, he only grew to five feet, two-and-a-half inches, but the years in Tian Shan had burned away his leftover baby fat, leaving Eddy lean, but toned. He had carefully monitored the growth of his hair, grooming it into a gelled black sheen while his three antennae-like cowlicks remained in tack. Every now and again, Eddy wiped a bead of sweat from one of his stark blue eyes. He wore a ___tangzhuang_suit consisting of a yellow top, light blue slacks and red slippers.

"And here I thought you and that bag had reconciled your differences by now." I quipped from the door.

Eddy nearly jumped his skin with a yelp, hurriedly clapping his hands together as he bowed. "___Mestre_, I didn't know you were there!" He chuckled nervously.

"What did you do this time, Eddy?" I hardened more voice to sound stern, while Eddy seemed to barely keep himself from panicking.

"Uh, nothing, ___Mestre_! I-I was just giving the heavy bag one last work over. Y'know, for ol' times' sake!" The boy stammered.

Suddenly I laughed and Eddy looked confused. "Don't worry, Eddy, you're not in trouble."

The boy deflated with a long sigh then buried one last punch into the bag before joining me at the door. He turned to look over the equipment room with folded arms. "I'm gonna miss this ol' place." He said softly.

"Hm, that's what Eddward said." I remarked.

"Yeah, well, this place's pretty much been home, dark 'n stuffy as it is." Eddy went on. "But, life's gotta go on. 'Sides it'd be nice to sleep in a place with actual plumbing and electricity."

"I don't remember the original _Qi Jian_ complaining about lack of appliances and 'actual plumbing'." I turned to look Eddy in the eyes as I went on. "Are you mocking the famed legends of this mountain, simply because they did without your modern conveniences?"

Eddy could only stare back like a doe caught in the headlights, beads of sweat trailing down his face while his building anxiety shook him. "N-No, ___Mestre__..._" He stammered, "I-I was just saying,"

"Saying what?" I interrupted

"Th-That I just can't wait to get home is all." Eddy was just barely coherent while his lips worked themselves into a crooked, nervous smile.

I smirked at him and playfully tapped him on the head. "I know." Eddy's anxiety instantly disappeared and he relaxed against the wall. I followed suite as I continued. "You three have certainly come a long way."

"Yeah, how many people can say they're a master at fifteen?" Eddy boasted, running his knuckles over his chest. "I think I'll open my own school! I'll call it... 'Cobra Eddy's Fight Club'! Yeah, that sounds good! Oh, but I should do some cool stuff first to build up my reputation! Maybe become a prize fighter, or a Hollywood action star! I'll even do my own stunts!"

Moments like this were what made me shake my head when it came to Eddy. All the time in Tian Shan couldn't humble every trace of arrogance. "Keep in mind that you're not a master yet, Eddy."

"Whadaya mean, _Mestre_?" Eddy complained. "You said we were done training!"

"Only because there's nothing left for me to teach you." I answered calmly. "You are skilled, more so than anyone your age should be. But, your skill means nothing without the experience to back it up. Before you let your ego inflate, you must appreciate that there are others like you and me who are not only capable of similar feats as us, but also more experienced. Besides, how can you _truly_ teach others to address violence, when you had never experienced it since coming here?"

Eddy's excitement melted away and he rolled his eyes to the floor, "I can't." He admitted in a low voice.

"But, that is not to say the denizens of Peach Creek would be any match for you and your friends." I went on, "I've taken three little fish from a small pond, raised them into sharks and returned them to said pond with the expectation they would not prey upon the other fish. Do you understand?" I asked, pointedly staring at Eddy.

"Oh, of course _Mestre_" He answered hurriedly. "I won't even hurt a fly!" Of course he was lying.

"Oh, and what if that fly didn't feel the same about you? Would you let it hurt you?" I pressed with a knowing smirk, making Eddy squirm anxiously in his spot.

"Oh, well in that case, the fly's gotta go!" He answered hurriedly.

"But don't feel so disappointed, Eddy. You've come along way from the little wannabe sociopath I picked up back then." I watched Eddy's face turn into a Cheshire grin, "Now you're just little."

At first Eddy looked offended, but when I laughed, he eventually realized the joke and laughed with me. "Yeah, just like you're old." He added then flinched. When Eddy finally realized I had not struck him over the head, his eyes eased open and he untangled himself from his awkward stance.

"I'm not old." I said, and pushed myself off the doorway. "Just experience. Your belongings are loaded and waiting outside at the entrance. I'm sure Eddward is on his way now."

Eddy nodded, "Thanks, ___Mestre_." He said and took one last look at the equipment room. "It's been great." Despite the smile on his face, Eddy's eyes held a note of sadness.

"That it has." I agreed. I noticed Eddy push himself off the doorway and bow before turning to leave. "Oh, and Eddy?" I called out to him.

"Yes, _Mestre_?" Eddy looked up at my curiously and could barely get his hands up in time to stop my fingers from striking him over the head. It was all he could to do hold where he had been struck.

"Mind your manners." I said, winking.

Eddy grated silently, only rubbing his head where he had been struck then bowed. As he turned to walk into the darkness, I could hear him mutter, "Man! I hate it when he does that!". The boy still had much to learn.

* * *

I spent the better part of an hour searching for Ed. All of my fruitless efforts eventually brought me to an empty room at the interior of the mountain's top. Though devoid of life, a sense of nostalgia kept me there. Back in the Eds' early days, Ed's extreme lack of focus turned out to be unlike anything I had encountered before, even among the mental handicapped. Thus, his training began with several month's worth of intense meditation, until one day Ed opened his eyes and clutched his head. When he seemed to recover, Ed spent the rest of that day running about the monastery, looking at everything with new eyes. Perhaps, for the first time in his life, Ed had been truly awake and aware.

I returned to myself when I sensed a presence behind me. "Hi, ___Sensei_!" He greeted me with a low bow.

"Ed, I was just looking for you." I said.

Ed Horace Galatas had always been tall, imposing and odd-looking, with his yellowish skin, thick monobrow and seeming lack of a chin. The passing years saw his body broaden with dense muscle and his neglect of his hair saw it turn into an orange mess of thick spikes. Despite that, Ed's turquoise eyes still held that spark of innocence, and I imagine it always would. Ed was already dressed for the weather, his body buried in thick coats.

"Oh, Double D and Eddy came outside and we were gonna leave, then they said they talked to you and I wanted to talk to you too before we left since we didn't see you when-"

I rose my hand to stop him. "I understand, Ed." I motioned towards the path behind him. "Come walk with me. We can talk on the way out."

Ed nodded eagerly and followed me towards the stairway.

"And so, it ends." I remarked.

Ed nodded, "Yep."

"Are your plans for home still the same?"

"Oh yeah, I can't wait to show my family everything you taught me!" Ed's face worked itself into a wide grin, "Mom and dad will be so proud of me!"

"And what of your sister?" I asked.

"Oh, oh, Sarah will be proud of me too!" Just as he answered, Ed realized the hardened expression I wore. His grin faded somewhat, "Um, ___Sensei_, are you ok?" He asked gently.

"I was just thinking about that." I answered, keeping my tone neutral. "You, Eddward and Eddy all face the challenge of reconnecting with your families. But, you especially so." There was more to this, but it wasn't my place to say it; better Ed see and address it for himself than I create an unnecessary schism with a word.

Ed accepted my answer with a nod, despite the worried look in his eyes. I went on, "But, I was referring to you ___other _plans."

Ed looked confused. "Other plans?"

It seemed wry smirks would be expression of the day. "You said before that you wished to follow in my footsteps when you returned home."

Ed perked up with recognition. "Oooooh, now I remember! Yeah, I am. But I'm trying to come up with a good alter-ego name." He paused to remember something. "How's 'Mr. Karate' sound?"

"I'm afraid that one's taken. There is a Kyokugen-ryu master in Southtown that goes by that name. He wears a red tengu master and a traditional ___Gi. _He is known for his several appearances in the 'King of Fighters' tournaments." I explained, knowing Ed would immediately ask about him.

"Aw." It didn't take long before Ed perked with another idea, "Oh, I know! How about 'The Fist of Goodness'?"

I answered with a hearty laugh, patting Ed on the head, making his grin widen, "Keep trying, I'm sure you'll come up with something." I said. "It just isn't like my time where very few warriors needed a costume and a flashy alias. Off the top of my head there is legend of ___Tei Malou_, a ___Wushu _master who treated the poor as an unassuming doctor by day and robbed the rich and faught corrupt officials by night. He was most noted for his use of trickery and especially skilled in the chain whip."

Ed's eyes glazed over as he listened, whispering an enraptured, "Cooool. I'll be a great hero, just like him!"

"But, still you must be careful what you allow into the public eye, Ed. The days where you could display your skills and abilities openly are gone, and the law will not look as kindly upon your efforts as they would have in my time. It's best you find a suitable alter-ego quickly before you go avenging the weak and oppressed." I warned.

Despite his wide grin remaining, Ed nodded appreciatively. "Do not worry, ___Sensei_, I'll be extra careful."

By then, we had already reached the gate. When I hit a switch on the wall, the earth began to rumble and the sound of ancient machinations echoed across the empty walls as they worked the giant door open. We squinted our eyes as the icy winter air blew in. It took our eyes a moment to adjust to the high noon sun and the brightness of the snow-capped landscapes.

Eddward and Eddy awaited him several paces away, the mule-drawn wagon I got for them loaded and ready. Ed turned to me and we bowed before he dashed through the thick tundra to join his friends on the wagon. As the wagon slowly moved, the Eds turned to wave their goodbyes. I waved back, staying at the gateway to watch them until they faded into the distance.

In this life, I had friends, lovers, allies and confidants, but I never found myself settling down from the constant travel, politics, violence and intrigue. Those boys were the closest I had ever had to sons in a long time, and nothing could ever truly prepare for this day. I turned back to regard the mountain and its secrets, it's memories. Once I depart, it would remain sealed for a long time. I wondered if any of the Eds would ever return; it was their turn to carry the secret now.

* * *

The Eds' journey took them by wagon, then by taxi and finally by plane. While their travels proved uneventful, it was anything but quiet what with Ed and Eddy's constant yammering. There was, however, was the brief moment of anxiety when they went through airport security, but the Eds breathed a mental sigh of relief when airport security failed to find their contraband. Similar to the rest of their journey, Eddward spent the plane ride watching the clouds go by in silence, the meager selection of magazines failing to provide a proper distraction.

Another taxi awaited them at the gate and another long drive commenced. By then, the fatigues of travel had lulled Eddward and Eddy to sleep, leaving Ed to watch the late night scenery fly past in a blur of contrasts. Occasionally he bit back the urge to stick his head through the window and let his long, blue tongue flail in the wind like a dog. But even so, Ed too found his mind stirring with troubled thoughts.

_"____You, Eddward and Eddy all face the challenge of reconnecting with your families. But, you especially so." _When Ed thought about it, he realized much of our conversations about his family turned out like that. Sometimes, Ed wondered what I thought of them, but had been too occupied with his training or other matters to ask. He remembered that day we met and when he followed me out the door that last time-

"Sir, we've reached our destination." The driver announced.

Ed shoved his thoughts aside and began to roughly shake Eddward, making him hit against Eddy, shouting "We're home, we're home!"

"Ed...! Please!" Eddward protested between shakes.

Eddy groggily brought his arms up to block Eddward's shoulder. "Yeah, cut it out lumpy!"

"But we are home guys!" Ed continued to cheer then bolted out of the cab, leaving his friends to yawn and stretch the jet lag from their limbs. They watched Ed snatch his luggage from the opened trunk then dash down the street to his house, knocking down the front door, shouting "Mom, Dad, Sarah, Ed is home!"

The next thing the remaining Eds heard was a shrill feminine scream, they imagined Ed's mother screaming in shock, followed by the same voice angrily scolding Ed while the Door was set back in place. It promptly fell down again.

Eddward and Eddy exchanged looks before Eddy burst into laughter until having to hold his sides, and Eddward dropped his face into his palm with an exasperated sigh. When they composed themselves, they exited the cab and claimed their belongings before it drove off into the night, Eddward's grandfather having financed the latter portion of the Eds' journey home.

"Welp, we're finally here." Eddy remarked, glancing about the old cul-de-sac. "Looks just the way we left it. I'm thinkin' I'll just go in through my room; that way it'll give me a chance to put my stuff down before mom starts smotherin' me in kisses." The thought of Eddy's burly mother squishing him into her not-so-pleasantly-plump bosom and pelting him in wet kisses made him shiver. For a moment he looked as if he would take ill.

Eddward suppressed a snicker. "It's only because your mother misses you, Eddy."

"Yeah, yeah. Just be glad your parents're barely around, Sockh-"

"I will thank you not to bring that up, Eddy." Eddward's tone came off harsher than normal and Eddy found the rest of his remark stuck in his throat.

"Oh, uh... Well, I'll see ya in the mornin' then. Lot's to do tomorrow." Eddy offered a hand.

The subtle glare on Eddward's face softened and he took his friend's hand. "Yes, much to do. Sleep well, Eddy."

"Night."

The two parted ways, but Eddward stopped to watch his friend disappear behind the wooden fence of his house. The next moment, a very shrill and disgusted "WHAT THE HELL?!" echoed from the Mcgee's household, tempting Eddward to run across the empty street to investigate, only to dismiss it as something Eddy could handle himself.

Finally, the moment Eddward had partly dreaded had come when he turned to face his house. In this late hour, the Hawking residence was without light, not a good sign in Eddward's case. Still, he found himself almost running across the street, despite the bulky luggage he carried. Surely his parents knew he would be back this day, Eddward knew I sent them a letter explaining such.

In his wildest hopes, he figured perhaps they were planning a surprise party and had turned the lights off, so as not to tip Eddward off. His hand trembled slightly as he retrieved his keys and he needed a long steadying breath before he turned the key and pushed the door open.

He waited, but there was nothing. The lights didn't flip on, nor did his parents shout "Surprise!", no decoration, or music. Nothing but the darkness and silence of an empty house. Eddward remained at the doorway for a long while before he mustered the desire to step inside proper.

___'I'm such a fool.__'_ he thought. In his numbness, Eddward let his luggage lay where they fell then turned to close and lock the door before he dragged himself to the common room proper. He did notice something when he fell into the couch in front of the coffee table; A simple pie with a stick note attached. Eddward leaned forward to peel off the note and held to the light of a streetlamp beaming through the window.

___Welcome Home, Eddward_It read in his mother's familiar hand.

"I'm home." He whispered bitterly.


End file.
